Some rules for effective communication

One of the most important skills a married couple can possess is the ability to communicate effectively. The word communicate comes from the Latin communicare, meaning, "to make one." Communication is NOT just speaking the process of making our thoughts and feelings clear! It is doing so in a way that brings another into our inner world gently. It is finding the deeper connection beneath all our divisions. It is discovering that where we are most ourselves, we are not ONLY ourselves.

Words are not necessarily communication - words spoken in anger, for example, drive people apart, and so are antithetical to communication. When we fail to listen as well as speak, we again fail to communicate. The process of communication is involves not only our own thoughts and feelings, it also requires sensitivity to the other. Wisdom, as Solomon knew, did not involve having the right answers - to be wise is to have a listening heart.

And so, a few guidelines for effective communication - for married couples, and anyone else who wants to genuinely communicate:

1. Listen with trust - Have faith in the other, and in your own inner wisdom. Trust that each of you has the answers to your questions and problems within

2. Listen with love - Listen to the other from within his or her experience; listen to what he or she is saying and, more important, feeling. Then affirm with or without words that you are listening and trying to understand.

3. Listen with patience - Communication is not all about words, sometimes it's about silence. Try to become comfortable with the still points in a conversation; those intervals of silence that sometimes occur in important conversations. Don't interrupt or rush to share your own experience until you have fully heard the other's experience.

4. Speak from "I" - When you respond, do so from your own experience, feelings, and opinions. Don't intellectualize and criticize what the other says, respond from your own point of reference and experience.

5. Accentuate the positive - Try to find common ground, and affirm the other as much as possible.

Remember, the truth is not an absolute value - love is. The truth without love can be devastating, The great virtue of communication is learning to speak the truth with love. 

 

Wedding

We attended the wedding of our friend Bute and Bebang last December 8, 2010. It's a once in a lifetime experiences witnessing how two lovely couple binded as one with love. We heard them exchanging their vows and saying their lifetime commitment to each other. We, as friends are there to support the said ceremony. We wish them both happiness and success on their marriage life.

YES! they've been through a lot, I'm not actually close to any of them but hearing it to my partner how these two lovely person showed their love to each other help me a lot forming this blog. We occasionally see each other but i can feel how they are so perfect for each other.

Problems occur but i think whats important is they handled it very well and i admired them for that. The said ceremony was indeed perfect. Seeing the bride in her bridal car and watching the groom whose very tense every now and then.T'was really an awesome party. You can notice how extravagant that party was from the Hotel-Church-Reception. Again, these two lovely individuals deserves a wishes of fruitful love and respect. Thanks for the invites and i must say We had a wonderful day :) Two thumbs UP.

"to have an d to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."

 

My realization :-)

Getting married is not about looking like a white-clad princess surrounded by  lovely flowers in a fairytale setting. It is all about a union of two hearts and making an everlasting promise.Your wedding vows will emphasize this strongly and it's up to you how to approach this.Wedding Vows can be traditional, old-fashioned, original, unique, religious, funny, poetic, romantic, or with the flavor of the country of your ethnic background.No matter what kind, though, wedding vows should flow from your heart.

Bad wishes - Cha Soo Kyung HQ [FULL+Download link+Romaji & Kanji Lyrics]

Korean version :)

neomu neol saranghadabwa
neol bomyeon uteuryeoku haedo nunmulna
sirheo ne nunsoke bichwojin nae moseubi sirheo
heuryeojir neoui maeum gata
hanttaen apeugil paraetji
ttaeronun nega pulhaenghagil bileosseo
keujeo neoreul aneul iyuga pilyohaesseotnabwa
apayo nal chajnun neonikka
tto dasi sarangeun yoksimeul mandeuleo
keu sarang ttaemune modeun geol irheul sudo itneunde
neol saranghalsurok nal mileonaelsurok
nae motdoin paraemi neomaneul parabogehae
hanttaen apeugil paraentji
ttaeronun michidorok ulgil bileosseo
jinan seulpeun sarangjochado sarangira midneun
ni moseub gyeondil suka eobseo
tto dasi sarangeun apeumeul mandeuleo
neo dagagalsurok modeun geol irheul geotman gateunde
neol saranghalsurok nal mileonaelsurok
neomaneul wonhaneun nae motdoin paraemi seulpeo
(jikeum naega haneun sarangeul irol su eobtda haedo
gaseumi teojil deut apayo)
bogo sipeo gajigo sipeo
nae motdoin baraemiketjiman
neol saranghaeseo mianhae

English Version :)

Love you very much

I try to smile but I’m crying

Hate it, yes as the snow shines,I hate my reflection

You clouded my mind/heart

The painful memories fade

Every now and then I wished for unhappiness

I just need to guess your heart

You hurt me, but its not you

I want to create the love again

Because of love,I’m willing to lose everything

The more I love you, the more you push me away

I’m bad to hope to have you all by myself

The painful memories fade

Sometimes I madly cry and wish

I still believe in love even though the previous love is sad

I can’t bear not to see you/your appearance

The love created pain again

I lose everything just by getting closer (to you)

The more I love you,the more you push me away

I’m bad to hope to have you all by myself

(Now if I can’t reach out for my love

My heart hurts so much its exploding)

I miss you I want you

I’m bad to hope this but

I’m sorry that I love you

I JUST LOVE THE WAY IT IS....

For every good woman deserves a rightful man

I love you and i will always will....

For every good woman deserves a rightful man...Glad I found one :)

Thank you for being there when i needed most. I will always be grateful having you in my life. We've been together for 5 long years and counting. You were always in my thoughts even though your just seated right next to me. I'm praying for our happiness and loyalty. May the Lord continue to blessed us with his love. I love you daddy and i will always will....and mostly I thank GOD for sending such a beautiful present like you.