Catched up

At dahil nagising ako sa kahabaan ng tulog ko, naisip kung ipost ito. Yesterday, i received a message from someone, i just wanna share this,

Yes, it's from khel, i was almost teary eyed after i read her message.  Wala akong masabe, I didn't know that she's also feeling the same way too. True indeed that no matter where we are, we are still under the same sky. Her letter made my day.I remember everything about her, no dull moments, the pa- star saga, and etc. It's really true na time will really tell, na pwede namang ma settle ang lahat, tamang panahon lang. FYI, because she's so dear to me, bago nya pa sabihing never mind the old flame, matagal ng wala sakin yun. Sorry talaga for the harsh words. She will always have a special place in my heart. Alam ko di nya itatapon yung mga panahon na naging magkasama kami. I wish er all the best and also happiness. I know someday, one of this day, magkikita din kami.soon. I'm so happy hearing everything is fine with her. Alam ko what she went through and i know na malalagpasan nya lahat ng mga trials na yon. - I KNOW.

Sobrang overwhelmed ako...

I miss her, at when time comes na magkikita kami, madami akong baon na kwento- sa bagong buhay na sinimulan ko kasama ang mga taong pinaka mamahal ko- pati sya.

evil sista...

Tamang blog hop lang, di pa ako maka tulog malamang naiba na ang body clock ko simula ng nag graveyard ako. Nag iikot ako sa mundo ng mga manunulat, kung saan mas lalakas ang loob na isulat nalang dito kung anu man ang nararamdaman nila kesa sabihin. Mga ka emote-tan man o ka baduyan. yan dito sa blog  wold madami nyan.

Napadaan ako sa blog ng isang dati kong tinuring na kaibigan, oo tama ang basa nyo "dati talaga". Knowing her, Alam ko when and where sya bibigay. She has a strong personality talaga. Matapang pero tahimik, at kagaya ko - MADRAMA. Ewan ko, wala na kong balita sa kanya, last thing i know, magkaaway na pala kami. Ibang level, ayoko na ding irecall, sayang lang kase i never expect na kung may mawawala man akong kaibigan simula nung umuwi ako ng Pinas e sya. Sobrang dami kase naming pinag daanan non, kala ko we will not end up this way, pero time tested us. I admit, i wrote and say some harsed words to her. Ive been hurt also sa mga binitawan nyang salita behind my back. Siguro nga ganun talaga, pag sobrang kumportable ka sa isang kaibigan at nag away kayo, sobrang masasaktan ka kase importante sayo yung tao na yon.Kala ko kase nobody can stop a good relationship we built for the longest time, until may ibang taong naka impluwensya sa kanya. I never thought na ganoon sya kadaling mawawala sakin, kala ko petty petty lang, nasa worst level na pala kami.

Siguro, i will forever miss her, everything about her. Alam ko din everything will be settled. Sa tamang panahon, kapag okey na, kapag hindi na masakit, kapag handa na. Aantayin kolang yung time na yun, kahit matagal pa. I'm praying na sana time will come na magkakasalubong kami and all we can do is to give a best hug to each other. Ako, okey na ako, tanggap kona na walang perfect na tao, lahat may flaws. Basta, sana  lang you can still recall what we have back there. Pareho naman tayo ng pinag daanun dun diba, alam na alam mo yan. Say not to late to start a new life here, say sorry kase nagkasakitan tayo - say I miss you too.

Alam ko she's happy now with the path that she's taking. Natural kase choice nya naman yun. I will still believe on her and when the world will judge her again- andito lang ako. 

Funny thing is - ibang klase kami, blogspot at twitter kami nag aaway instead of FB and YM- discrete na discrete. hahaha.

Reason Enough

 Your the reason why I'm smiling :)

I made myself a promise some time ago

Never again to give my heart away

Fell in love with someone who left me in the end

The price of love was just too high to pay

I thought my life had ended, but you came along

And showed me how much brighter things could be

Now you see I've turned my back

On that promise that I made

Knowing that your love has set me free

(`Cause) You are reason enough

for me to go on living

You are reason enough for me to smile again

In a world where hearts are broken

Every now and then

One finds reason enough to love

Like I've found reason enough in you to love again

So here I am, all caught up in this new found love

Feeling like I've never felt before

Putting my love on the line with you

And taking a chance again

I'm not afraid to love anymore

In a world where hearts are broken

Every now and then

One finds reason enough to love

Like I've reason enough in you to love again

Open letter to PAO :-)

I can't think of any perfect words to express how grateful am being part of your class. I was once a call center hopper, if i don't like the program, i easily quit, until i my feet brought me to Apac. You really thought us the best practices. I admired you being so good to us, to the point that your doing everything for us. You stand as a father- who provides us what we need, a friend - for always listening to us with our concerns, and of course our mentor - for preparing us when we hit the production. I know sometimes your already doing what you are not supposed to do for us and really from the bottom of our hearts, we really appreciate that. For understanding us on a daily basis. You really inspire us. I was never wrong expecting a 5 weeks of fun, learnings, and excitement since day one. It's really memorable. One thing good about you is that everyday, you always have a quotes to inspire us more. Our PST was done already but the lessons we learned and the friendship we built will last forever. We will really miss someone like you. When im in the production, i can actually see all of your products, and i must say it's official, now, were one of them.Thank you for believing on us, for always saying that we can make it.We will excel,  we'll make you proud. You gained the biggest respect not only from me, but from US. See you on the floor, Thanks for everything.

first call

It's definitely official, Our PST was finished and in reality this is what were going to do. I just wanna share what happened to our n to n awhile ago. It was a great feeling, as if I'm a newbie to receive a call. Before my turn, i was really shaking and i felt that there's a butterfly on my stomach. hahahaha weird. I don't know where to compare the mixed emotion i felt. I took the headset and just think of any motivation not to feel nervous on set of the call. I was thinking of my papa, because i know he will be proud of me. I'm thinking of Pao, for all the motivations and giving us the best practices he knows, and lastly, I'm thinking of my family. It's definitely for them. Then i logged on, I got my first call at exactly 2:30 am, manila time. Oh, calling for benefits from CATHY and guess what,that's the last thing i expected,... from Mental health, Levels of care, take note it's AUTOBAGGED. It was very hard, my wavemates can attest to that, so hard to quote and i thought i would be lost on set. It's a good thing i have Joseph, he's a big help. And the call goes on until i need to wrap it up. My call lasted for i think 15 minutes, not bad for a newbie like me. I was blessed having Joseph as back up. I was still overwhelmed with that call. It's hard to explain. I won't forget that. No. Never.

Fact

Ang sakit sakit na!!!! Potah!!!

Cheer up!

Life deals us all an awful hand.

Too much pressure and too much pain.

Continuously riding up our a$$es.

Driving us all insane.

...

It gets tough to hang on.

You often feel like letting go.

You dont give a damn about the future,

And all the more tortures it holds.

But if you think about it a little,

Life also makes the pain worth living it.

So instead of cursing at life,

I hope you can try forgiving it.

With every sunset,

Comes a sunrise.

A new ray of hope,

Pleasing to the eyes.

You can only truly appreciate happiness,

By feeling some sadness and pain.

Therefore you should live life

With your mind with an open frame.

It's never going to be easy.

It's never going to go the way you like.

But that shouldn't stop you.

Give the bad times a little more fight.

Coz when its all over,

You can claim your gift.

I gurantee whatever it is,

It'll give your spirit a lift.

Everyone wants the same thing.

They all want to live the good life.

With all the joy and happiness you'll ever want.

Isn't that worth a little sacrifice?

So keep your heads up,

And look straight ahead of you.

I had lived through all your pains,

And I'm sure you can survive it too.

:'(

Darating talaga sa buhay ng tao yung manghihinayang ka!!!!

Quote

I hate the feeling where you feel like your world is somewhat better, maybe even perfect.... You put your guard down and...it crashes and breaks into a million pieces,and you end up cutting yourself trying to fix the pieces. But you've lost some of them, and theres holes all over the,once perfect, heart.

moving on.

Parang ang bigat pigat ng mga blog ko lately, I was fixing my i.ph and rerading my old notes from there, ang bigat bigat. It was full of good writtings sa mga nangyayare sakin since then, and im sad kase i know kailangan ko ng tangalin yun, kailangan na, ewan koba, ako, im just trying to write what ever sentiments i have/had. kaya lang di naman pwedeng lahat, ayokong may maapakan (uli), ayokong may masaktan (uli). Tama na sakin yung ganito, pakiramdam ko naman nasa ayus na lahat, kaya wala nakong dapat guluhin pa. Fair talaga si God, Di lahat ibibihay nya sayo. Minsan, kailangan  may mga taong mawala sayo, kung gusto mong ma retain sayo? (gulo no). Maybe, i just need to considered some good things na nangyare sakin simula nung bumalik ako dito. Learning each lessons through hard ways nalang siguro. Simple lang naman ang gusto ko, sobrang simple lang. Pero minsan nagtataka ko, bakit nagiging komplikado ang lahat. May mga taong nawala sakin, mga taong di na naiba, nawala si papa, dating mga nakasama, dating mga naging kaibigan, at may mga nakasamaan ng loob. Siguro isa na lang ang iisipin ko, i will be forever grateful knowing someone like them. Yan naman parati ang madalas kong sinasabi. Nakakamiss lang, yun lang, yun na lang. Kung anu mang meron siguro ako ngayun, i'll just be happy, and most of all, contented. Anyway, i asked for it. TO HIM, above all.  And siguro isa lang ang pwede kung gawin sa ngayun, yun ay mag MOVE ON.

Hay nako, bitter biterran na naman ang ate nyo. 

MASAYA BA TALAGA AKO?

boredom :(

Nothing, i just feel to have an entry before i tie to my bed and take 8 hrs. of rest.

I just had a tiring but fulfilling shift. It's been 2 weeks already since we started graveyard. Wide jocking, lessons, mock calls, ats :) Time flies so fast. Its a good thing i never fell asleep those critical times. W All i want to do right after i finished this blog is to sleep. I've been hearing echoes already of some spiels. "After the deductible is waived", "Out of pocket", "let me do a member name search", "one moment please", "the patient is not subject to any pre-existing waiting period" etc etc.  Oh God, not in my dreams anymore please..I'm afraid to be info-overload of the lessons I've learned from the past 7 weeks. Abay is coming- its either i make it or break it as they said. I'm wishing wave 17 best of luck for ABAY. This is it! I hope we survive that two weeks of abay. I should be thinking right now of motivations and plans. I should have a plan! Few more weeks, we need to say our final goodbye for some of my wavemates. I wish i can pick atleast three of them to be in my team. This is really is it wave, we have to step our best foot forward. We should make ourselves proud. BEST OF LUCK JABRONNIS :)

GC

REMEMBER THIS?

I've made it!!!! yes!!!

Thanks Pao :)

iwillbethere :)

Fine!!!!

When the world seems to know that everything is fine with us, truth is, it’s the other way around.

Nasanay na siguro ako na isulat sa blog ko lahat ng nararamdaman ko. Truth is, mas madalas ko pang hawakan ang mouse ng computer kesa sa kamay mo at marinig ang speaker ng computer kesa sa boses mo. I'm trying to be the best for you (for us), kaya lang you just chose to close your eyes kaya di mo makita. I never hear you saying sorry kapag umiiyak ako, i never feel you comforting me, kapag malungkot ako, and worst is ikaw ang dahilan ng lahat ng yon. I'm totally paid off whatever i've caused you before. You never asked me to choose you, but i still choose you kase alam ko you never wish any harm for me, you will take care of me, na your worth it, kala ko lang pala yon. You never understand kung bakit ako nagkakaganito.

Wala naman akong hinangad na di maganda para sa atin, from the start, I always wanted to be the best partner to you, to serve you, to take care of you, moreover, to love you, but despite of all this, wala. Tingin mo sakin  simpleng partner lang na kakausapin pag may libreng oras. Nakakapagod din palang intayin ka umuwi matapos mong mag goodtimes at nakakapagod din palang antayin ka matapos mag laro sa mga pinag kakaabalahan mong online games. I always set time for us para magkaron naman tayo ng oras para sating dalawa pero you never recognized each efforts i made. This is not what i dream for, never. I envy some friends ive known kapag nag kwekwento sila how they partner's look at them like a princess, na diko man lang ata na experience since then, dahil sa sobra na nating komportable sa isa't isa, minsan wala ng respect.

I won't regret this day saying these lines to you. Kase kahit papano, kahit di ko man pinangarap, nakagaan sa loob ko, nakabawasan sa nararamdaman ko. To you, i'm nothing. At kahit pagsilbihan kita ng habang buhay, wala lang sayo yun.  People thought were ok, iniisip nila na everything is flowing smoothly between us, truth is hindi. Ako na lang ata ang nag pupush sa relasyon nato. Hindi naman siguro kawalan sayo kung pasayahin mo naman ako kahit mnsan, pakita mo naman na i'm worth it, mag ka time ka naman! Ngayun naiintindihan kona kung bakit dalawa ang kamay ko. One is for wiping my tears, and the other one is for tapping my shoulder saying everything will be fine. Hey, i still have a damn life, napapabayaan ko na siguro sarili ko.

And if this is the game that you want, FINE, i'll make a big rebound! I can't even remember when was the last time you ask me hows everything, i guess not even once. I don't deserved this. NEVER, but the truth is nasasaktan mo na ako, its hard to admit that i'm getting use to it.

Alam ko darating ang araw na magiging okey tau ulit. na parang walang nagyare. But i won't erase this blog, this would remind me of how brave i'm saying unwanted words to you during downtime of us.I'm not aiming for everything, just let me feel i'm important, secured and safe....

Relationship ♥

Learn to let go of the past, and recognize that every day won’t be sunny. And when you find yourself lost in the darkness and despair, remember it’s only in the black of night that you see the stars, and those stars will lead you back home. So don’t be afraid to make mistakes, to stumble and fall, because most of the time, the greatest rewards come from doing the things that scare you the most. Maybe you’ll get everything you wish for. Maybe you’ll get more than you ever could have imagined. Who knows where life will take you. The road is long and in the end, the journey is the destination.

Relationship ♥

The best relationship is when you two can act like lovers and best friends. It’s when you have more playful moments than serious moments. It’s when you can joke around, let each other have piggy backs, have unexpected hugs and random kisses. It’s when you two give each other that specific stare and just smile. It’s when you’ll rather stay in to watch movies, eat junk food and cuddle, than go out all the time. It’s when you’ll stay up all night just to settle your arguments and problems. It’s when you can completely act yourself and they can still love you for who you are.

1. Everytime we leave each other, I give him something of mine and he gives me something of his.

2. When we’re in the car we listen to our songs, nothing else.

3. When we have to do something or go somewhere, we let each other know.

4. We’ve talked on the phone every single day since Halloween 2008. No joke.

5. He calls me every morning and I text him every night. It’s been that way since day one.

6. When we hang up, he never lets me say “I love you” first.

7. Everytime I go to visit him, he takes me to the place where we had our first kiss and the park where we first walked.

8. He has a “Michelle” desk in his room and I have a “Jay” desk in mine. Basically a desk filled with things about one another.

9. We sleep on the phone every single night.

10. Every time we have to leave one another, we have our “see you later” talk. It consists of and an hour or 2 of talking about us, our future and a whole lot of tears shed by the both of us.

11. When I cry he wipes my tears using every single one of his fingers. His pointer, his middle, his ring, hs pinky and his thumb.

12. When I need him I text him, “I need you now. Emergency.” — He calls right away.

13. When we see each other, we ALWAYS have to have breakfast at iHOP.

14. When we fight, we have this routine. We take time to cool off. Later he tells me his side, I tell him mine. He tells me what he wants to be fixed, I do the same.

15. We have this silly saying, “time infinity, forever promise.”

We’re a bit strange as you can see. But that’s quite alright.

“I believe in magic and in happily ever after’s. For seeing is believing and I have living proof because I have found forever love in you.”

not to late...

Saddened. Do really life sucks this much? I just thought of my life way back, when i still have the time i got good job, easy money, new friends, new inspiration and stuffs. Back of my mind saying i just missed those times...those precious times i had. If i only used my time more efficient and quality maybe I'm not regretting things right now. I maybe not hurted other people who loved and cared for me truly, I maybe give more time to my family. I maybe thought life seriously. If only...Life maybe full of complications but i guess it's all up to us. Whatever we have right now, learn to appreciate it. I will always remember those times i lost, not to still regret on it, but as a reminders.

Maybe God is really fair for balancing life. He thought me a lesson  that i will never forget till the end. That is to value every person and to respect them the way other people respect me. And now, i learned it thru it's hard ways. And i guess i still have time to redeem myself to patch things up. Really from the bottom of my heart, I'm praying for their happiness and my forgiveness as well. Not to late.

And now, i feel that im picking up every pieces on me while carrying the lessons I've learned. I know god is good.Seeing me, redeeming myself, i owe him big. My life must go on. move forward. no return. And to continue with the nth time life, with new friends, new work, with one love.

It's been a year....

MARCH 8 :)

This is my way of saying....Cheers to them:). People who simply touched our lives will always be remembered and will definitely leaves footprints in our hearts. I may not be able to be say thank you to them personally, truly I'm honored having them even for awhile. It's been a year since i started a new life here, new friends, new work, and probably to continue with what i left behind. God has always been good for allowing me to meet someone like them and i will always be forever thankful for that. Yes, i made mistake, once, twice, thrice..., but i think i already paid for it and I'm hoping for the forgiveness soon. It may not be now, but i know it will come, when the right time comes. God and i knows they've been good to me for helping me throughout. I'm praying for their happiness and success in life. It's been a year when i started to face the reality alone, i admit, I'm a bit scared but i don't have any options but to gave my best foot forward.To try everything and give my best shot. It was never been easy for me as expected. Until i came to the point that all i can do is pray not only hard, but harder. It's been a year since a lot of things happened. I'm living my life to the fullest but without regrets. I know I'm better now compare before. I value things the way it supposed to be value. I feel sad for learning it through its hard ways. I will never forget that.To them, i will just stare them from a far,i know they are all doing good without my presence. God knows i missed them. I will pray for them and wish all the best. And now, after learning a good lessons, i don't have anymore time to waste any single opportunity to live the life the way it should be without wasting time, leaving with hatreds and loosing the a good chance to grow. No. Not now. Never. I'm not afraid to say and believe that I'm still a working in progress..

Just because someone loves you, doesn’t mean they won’t hurt you.

Maybe I'm just pissed off with what's happening. Things are happening not the way i wanted. I just want them to know that hey! I'M HERE!!! visible, have feelings and most of the time taken for granted. Maybe I'm just paranoid to think that nobody understand me or maybe I'm just dwelling or expecting too much in return for all the good things i've done. I bet its not bad to ask for something they should give in return, its like hey, i'm not asking too much? i'm not asking for your 360 degrees attention and all, atleast have time to say something for me to understand, spare some of your precious time, or just do you part. I don't want this routine anymore, i'm afraid we'll be used to it. I'm starting to feel envy for others who are not experiencing it. I ENVY THEM!!!! I guess it's not to late for some adjustment. It's not to late too patch things up. But is shouldn't come not only to you or me alone, IT should be US!

Simple things that would make me relieve and understand. That's all im askin for,and i guess it's not too much :(

With CS :)

Friend will always be a friend no matter how near or far they are to each other.