Some rules for effective communication

One of the most important skills a married couple can possess is the ability to communicate effectively. The word communicate comes from the Latin communicare, meaning, "to make one." Communication is NOT just speaking the process of making our thoughts and feelings clear! It is doing so in a way that brings another into our inner world gently. It is finding the deeper connection beneath all our divisions. It is discovering that where we are most ourselves, we are not ONLY ourselves.

Words are not necessarily communication - words spoken in anger, for example, drive people apart, and so are antithetical to communication. When we fail to listen as well as speak, we again fail to communicate. The process of communication is involves not only our own thoughts and feelings, it also requires sensitivity to the other. Wisdom, as Solomon knew, did not involve having the right answers - to be wise is to have a listening heart.

And so, a few guidelines for effective communication - for married couples, and anyone else who wants to genuinely communicate:

1. Listen with trust - Have faith in the other, and in your own inner wisdom. Trust that each of you has the answers to your questions and problems within

2. Listen with love - Listen to the other from within his or her experience; listen to what he or she is saying and, more important, feeling. Then affirm with or without words that you are listening and trying to understand.

3. Listen with patience - Communication is not all about words, sometimes it's about silence. Try to become comfortable with the still points in a conversation; those intervals of silence that sometimes occur in important conversations. Don't interrupt or rush to share your own experience until you have fully heard the other's experience.

4. Speak from "I" - When you respond, do so from your own experience, feelings, and opinions. Don't intellectualize and criticize what the other says, respond from your own point of reference and experience.

5. Accentuate the positive - Try to find common ground, and affirm the other as much as possible.

Remember, the truth is not an absolute value - love is. The truth without love can be devastating, The great virtue of communication is learning to speak the truth with love. 

 

Wedding

We attended the wedding of our friend Bute and Bebang last December 8, 2010. It's a once in a lifetime experiences witnessing how two lovely couple binded as one with love. We heard them exchanging their vows and saying their lifetime commitment to each other. We, as friends are there to support the said ceremony. We wish them both happiness and success on their marriage life.

YES! they've been through a lot, I'm not actually close to any of them but hearing it to my partner how these two lovely person showed their love to each other help me a lot forming this blog. We occasionally see each other but i can feel how they are so perfect for each other.

Problems occur but i think whats important is they handled it very well and i admired them for that. The said ceremony was indeed perfect. Seeing the bride in her bridal car and watching the groom whose very tense every now and then.T'was really an awesome party. You can notice how extravagant that party was from the Hotel-Church-Reception. Again, these two lovely individuals deserves a wishes of fruitful love and respect. Thanks for the invites and i must say We had a wonderful day :) Two thumbs UP.

"to have an d to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."

 

My realization :-)

Getting married is not about looking like a white-clad princess surrounded by  lovely flowers in a fairytale setting. It is all about a union of two hearts and making an everlasting promise.Your wedding vows will emphasize this strongly and it's up to you how to approach this.Wedding Vows can be traditional, old-fashioned, original, unique, religious, funny, poetic, romantic, or with the flavor of the country of your ethnic background.No matter what kind, though, wedding vows should flow from your heart.

Bad wishes - Cha Soo Kyung HQ [FULL+Download link+Romaji & Kanji Lyrics]

Korean version :)

neomu neol saranghadabwa
neol bomyeon uteuryeoku haedo nunmulna
sirheo ne nunsoke bichwojin nae moseubi sirheo
heuryeojir neoui maeum gata
hanttaen apeugil paraetji
ttaeronun nega pulhaenghagil bileosseo
keujeo neoreul aneul iyuga pilyohaesseotnabwa
apayo nal chajnun neonikka
tto dasi sarangeun yoksimeul mandeuleo
keu sarang ttaemune modeun geol irheul sudo itneunde
neol saranghalsurok nal mileonaelsurok
nae motdoin paraemi neomaneul parabogehae
hanttaen apeugil paraentji
ttaeronun michidorok ulgil bileosseo
jinan seulpeun sarangjochado sarangira midneun
ni moseub gyeondil suka eobseo
tto dasi sarangeun apeumeul mandeuleo
neo dagagalsurok modeun geol irheul geotman gateunde
neol saranghalsurok nal mileonaelsurok
neomaneul wonhaneun nae motdoin paraemi seulpeo
(jikeum naega haneun sarangeul irol su eobtda haedo
gaseumi teojil deut apayo)
bogo sipeo gajigo sipeo
nae motdoin baraemiketjiman
neol saranghaeseo mianhae

English Version :)

Love you very much

I try to smile but I’m crying

Hate it, yes as the snow shines,I hate my reflection

You clouded my mind/heart

The painful memories fade

Every now and then I wished for unhappiness

I just need to guess your heart

You hurt me, but its not you

I want to create the love again

Because of love,I’m willing to lose everything

The more I love you, the more you push me away

I’m bad to hope to have you all by myself

The painful memories fade

Sometimes I madly cry and wish

I still believe in love even though the previous love is sad

I can’t bear not to see you/your appearance

The love created pain again

I lose everything just by getting closer (to you)

The more I love you,the more you push me away

I’m bad to hope to have you all by myself

(Now if I can’t reach out for my love

My heart hurts so much its exploding)

I miss you I want you

I’m bad to hope this but

I’m sorry that I love you

I JUST LOVE THE WAY IT IS....

For every good woman deserves a rightful man

I love you and i will always will....

For every good woman deserves a rightful man...Glad I found one :)

Thank you for being there when i needed most. I will always be grateful having you in my life. We've been together for 5 long years and counting. You were always in my thoughts even though your just seated right next to me. I'm praying for our happiness and loyalty. May the Lord continue to blessed us with his love. I love you daddy and i will always will....and mostly I thank GOD for sending such a beautiful present like you.

My first mobile.

Sino ang nagkaron nito? Sino ang meron paring ganito? At sino ang gustong magkaron ng ganito ngayon?

That's my first mobile, given by papa during my High School Graduation ( 2006 ).

Broken ♥ted

this is from my own point of view :)

This is for the broken hearted. I know how you feel. Empty, betrayed, and no happiness whatsoever. You don’t want to laugh, because you know it’s not going to help, but you don’t want to cry, because it will just make you feel worse. You feel like your heart is falling apart, but not only that, but you know soon your life is going to feel like it’s falling apart too. You don’t think it will ever end, and no matter what this person has done to you, it feels impossible to stop loving them. And everyone wonders why if they have hurt you so much, then why do you still love them. That’s the confusing part, you don’t know why, you just do, and the people who hurt you the most, and normally the ones you love the most. And then, after a few weeks, you finally feel a sense of relief, like you’re getting happy again, but you know inside that you’re just going into denial. And after a few more weeks, you’re back to where you were an empty soul and teary eyes. You thought you got over them, but really, you just stopped showing it.

And you can’t help but to show it again. It leaves deep scars on your heart that are there forever. And no one understands how you feel, and how deep you are hurt, no matter who they are, because it hasn’t happened to them And even if it has, every broken heart is different. They don’t know the true pain you feel and carry each and everyday now, so you learn that basically you are alone with all this. And the feeling starts to overwhelm you, and suddenly you just break down, right there, because you know you’ve had enough, the tears just instantly start flowing, and you’re to the point where you don’t care who see’s. Because you’ve spent so many nights lying awake in bed, and so many days being haunted by the scars and fear of rejection. And in the midst of all these tears, you know that its not helping any, and it’s not going to bring them back, if you ever even had them in the first place. 

After about a million tears have been cried, you finally pull yourself back together and keep going. Your throat starts to clench and your eyes burn with the tears you are trying to hold back. Everyone says, “It will be okay…” But you know it won’t. And that’s the truth, it won’t. And you look back on all of the hurt you had from this, and you realize that people are horrible. You’re still hurt, but you’ve learned to hide it so that everyone thinks you are okay. So now every time you see this person, you know you still love them, and you feel a slight tingle in your heart yearning for them to love you, screaming out, but for some reason they don’t hear it. And then you sit back and wonder how one person could have caused all of this…

Aftermath

Finally :) Issues has been settled (hope so)...

Wala namang problemang di naaayos sa magandang usapan. If both parties are willing to admit their own mistakes and  learn to accept forgiveness, 100 percent guarantee na maayus lahat ng issue. Ang isang taong galit, for sure yan she or he might say foul words or even below the belt nadin. Siguro that's one way how we can release the pain and yung galit at the same time. Nakakasakit tayo ng ibang tao not because gusto natin but no one is perfect.

Ako, honestly masaya ako sa nangyare, atleast ngayun wala ng okward moments sa floor at sana ganoon din sila. Wala naman siguro talagang tao na gusto ng may kaaway sya diba? It's a different feeling kapag maaliwalas sa floor, yung alam mong kampanti ka sa taong katrabaho mo.

A rumor can affect a person's life and damage 1's reputation; so be mindful about what you say about someone.

But at the end of the day, nasabi na ang lahat ng dapat at hindi sabihin. nakasakit ka man ng taong mahal mo. Nangyare nayun. Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. 

Im hoping na sana tuloy tuloy na...TIME and SPACE...lang guro kung kailangn. Time can heal all wounds and space para maka pag reflect. :)

POPOY AND BASHA

ONE MORE CHANCE (hahaha) --- isa pa isa pa!!!

PAMATAY NA LINES NILA POPOY & BASHA!!!!

PLASTIC

Hindi ako makatulog! For the past few months ngayun lang ata ako di makatulog! I'm just thinking of writting a sentiment nalang :(


Ala lang i just want to share yung nakita ko sa isang site:

" GUSTO KONG IHAGIS LAHAT NG KAIBIGAN KO SA DAGAT PARA LUMUTANG ANG PLASTIC"!

natawa lang ako while reading this one, pero at one point of view, totoo naman diba, gusto kong itry kaya lang baka maboljack ako ng mga kaibigan ko hehehe. But, honestly kahit naman ganun yung iba e tingin ko naman ive treated them fair enough. 

I dont have bestfriends..i admitted it. I only have few selected friends, pinili ko sila kase i wanted to treasure each of them. Pinili ko sila kase gusto ko parte sila ng bawat pangyayare sa buhay ko. Pinili ko ang iilan nayun para makapag focus ako kung anu mang ang pangangailangan ng talagang magkakaibigan. at para sakin ayus nayun. Diko kailangn ng madami. Yung tunay lang ayus na sakin. 

Double Birthday Bash

It's Kit and Myla's Birthday --- To be held in our place in Taguig on Novemver 20, 2010. It's gonna be fun, fun fun and fun. I'm hoping na makasama lahat ng CS family so that we can release the pressure nadin sa office. Sort of team building nadin.

We are all excited for that birthday bash kaya nga maaga palang nag post na kami sa facebook. 

Kit will be turning 30 on the said date (hehe matanda na talaga) and Myla will be turning 29 tsk.tsk.tsk.

Who would have thought i'd be closer to her like this, not to mention we fought for the first 3 months in the office. Siguro di naman din maiiwasan you. All we need is time to appreciate each identities and personalities na din. But, look at us now :) Siguro kung babalikan namin yung mga times na nag aaway kami e pagtatawanan nalang namin yun.

It would be a lot of fun for sure and a lot of food. Lasingan to the max at harutan. Walang agawan ng moment :)

To the both of you, I wish you both more birthday and blessings to come, good health and a peaceful mind hehehe. 



LOVE YOU BOTH ♥ char!

spot the difference

Yung nasa ulo ni Marian pangbiker. Yung nasa ulo ni Angel pangswimming.

Yung dalawang star ni Angel pangmagic (STAR Magic ABS-CBN). Yung dalawang star ni Marian pangdream, pangbelieve, pangsurvive (STARstruck GMA).

Yung emblem sa ulo ni Angel pampaswerte (LUCKY Manzano). Yung emblem sa ulo ni Marian doorbell (DINGDONG Dantes)

Yung armband ni Marian Egyptian inspired. Si Angel walang armband, hindi inspired?

Yung nakaipit sa brip ni Angel pamunas ng pawis pagkatapos makipaglaban. Yung nakaipit sa brip ni Marian pamunas ng bibig pagkatapos kumain.- credit to Epal.com

EPAL

"Ang pag-ibig na bakal ay hinihinang at pinag-iisa ng matinding init na namamagitan sa dalawang nagmamahalan. Pero kung ang pag-ibig ay yari sa plastik, at ang matinding init ay nagmumula lang sa laman, malulusaw lang ito sa oras na ito ay hininang." -MgaEpal.com

PAPA

It's been 3 months and 8 days since papa passed away. We could hardly accept the fact that papa has already gone. Siguro ang pinaka mahirap talaga is yung acceptance. Acceptance na dadarating ang mga mahahalagang events sa buhay namin na di namin makakasama si papa. Wedding, Christmas, New year at kung anu anu pa. I can still remember how he used to carry me during my childhood days. Ang dami kung mamimiss pag dating kay papa. Sabi nga nila

 "letting go doesn’t mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be.

I Know papa is in good hand now, no more pain puro happiness na lang :) 

Andun ako nung nawalan na ng hininga si papa, andun kaming lahat, at yun na siguro ang pinagpapasalamat ko, yung andun kami para suportahan ang isa't isa. Kung gaano mo kami kamahal, ganun din ka namin kamahal. 

Di naman kami mayaman, pero di din naman kami mahirap. pero pinalaki naman kami na nagtutulungan at nagmamahalan. yun ang isa sa mga tinuro samin ni papa nung nabubuhay pa sya. Si papa, he never asked for any wealth or even asked much more. He's just satisfied whatever he has, kung anu lang yung meron, kung anu lang ang kasya.

Tutuo pala, nahirap mawalan ng isang ama, lalu na pag malapit ka sa kanya, feeling ko ko nawalan din ako ng kaibigan. Sana kung asan man si papa,  sana proud sya sa aming magkakapatid. Sana lagi nya kaming i gui guide nila mama. Pinakamaskit yung nakikita namin syang naghihirap. Yung di makatayo, di makalakad. 

Miss ka na namin. Kung alam mo lang papa kung gaano kahirap, Araw araw lagi ka naming naiisip, nakakapanibago pero mas okey ka na dyan eh. atleast wala ng masakit sau diba? atleast healed kana. You will always be forever remembered. Alam ko dadarating din yung time na ma aaccept namin na wala kana pero siguro it will take time. Just give us time.




I will always be your forever young pepe and i know that i also made you proud. 


I LOVE YOU PAPA :) till we see each other again...

PAPA

PARA SA BUTIHIN KONG AMA

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=140467705973065

MOCHA AND FRAPP

This is our Beloved Mocha and Frapp.

Binili naman yan sa Cartimar ni kit last 2 weeks ago, wala lang ewan koba kung anung naisip nya at bigla nalang nyan naisipan bumili ng Guinea pig. At dahil gusto nya, ayan...

I was the one who named these two cute guinea pigs Mocha and Frapp. Since, mahilig naman kami mag Starbucks yun nalang naisip ko. It takes like ilang oras din bago namin sila napangalanan..Madaming choices eh Una, Sam and Alex, pero ang pangit naman because we have an officemates with that same name. I also want to choose Julio and Julia kaya lang baka paglaki eh umarte lang hehehe kaya we end up naming these two as MOCHA and FRAPP..

EPAL

Munting Kaalaman mula sa mgaepal.com.

Malalim ang pinaghugutan ng salitang "Epal". Magmula sa salitang "Mapapel" na tumutukoy sa taong nagpapapansin o nagmamarunong, o sa taong sumasagot ng hindi naman tinatanong, binaliktad ng mga Jeproks ang salitang "Mapapel" nung 70's dahil yun yung uso nun, at naging "Mapepal". Sa pagtagal ay nawala ang unang "p" at naging "Maepal". At nung nauso naman ang pagpapaiksi ng mga salita nung 90's ay inampon na ng mga Pilipino ang salitang "Epal" sa pang araw-araw na buhay.

Unsolicited Advice

Unsolicited Advice.


Kung walang nagbabago at sinasaktan ka parin nya, pisikal man o emosyinal, baket ka manghihinayang hiwalayan sya dahil lang matagal na kayong nagsasama? Kung hindi ka na masaya at nagawa mo na lahat para subukang ayusin ang relasyon nyo, wala ka nang dapat panghinayangan pa kundi ang oportunidad na makakilala ng taong magpupursiging alagaan ka.

WIN

WIN


Dark is the night
I can weather the storm
Never say die
I’ve been down this road before

I’ll never quit
I’ll never lay down
See I promised myself I would never let me down

(chorus)
So I’ll never give up
Never give in
Never let a ray of doubt slip in
And if I fall
I’ll never fade
I’ll just get up and try again
Never lose hope
Never lose faith
There’s much too much at stake
Upon myself I must depend
I’m not looking for a place ashore
I’m gonna win

Won’t stop me now
There’s still a ways to go
Some way somehow
Whatever it takes I know

I’ll never quit
I’ll never go down
I’ll make sure they remember my name 100 years from now

(chorus)

When it’s all said and done
My once in a lifetime won’t be back again
Now is the time, for me to stand
Here is my chance, that’s why i

LIFE

I was searching for a perfect quote or rather a perfect tweet to post on my sites until i found this.....


"Life's like jigsaw puzzle! Having all pieces isn't enough; what matters most is placing them at right places:....


So true right?


We may encountered so much trials only to find out at the end that what's important is how we make all those things right. Facts that most of the time we're almost fed up, the fact the most of the times we want to give up...We are born as a fighter and we must take all those stuffs as challenge and no matter what complicated life is, we should learn how to played the so called LIFE.

Tell Me by Markki Stroem with lyrics

 Drop by to cross the lines ♥

 

 I just heard this song from one series from ABS then my heart started to fall.

love letter

I think one of the reasons i loved you so much, was because you were so different.

Whatever you do, baby, keep on proving i had good reason to love you.

NIÑA

My sister is no longer a baby!!!

Dalaga na si Niña, I still really can't believe kung gaano kabilis magdalaga tong kapatid ko. Minamadali nya kase at daig pa ako. She can even put a good combination of make up than me. I still remember the days na kinakarga karga ko lang sya pero ngayon, look how pretty she is. mas malaki pa sakin.

at ngayon, at her age of 15, She's running for SK Councilor sa Barangay namin....Sana manalo kase baka pag natalo e umiyak yan. Ayoko pa naman ng nasasaktan yan. Para sakin, she's so fragile kase. Pinaka close sakin yan I guess pinupunan kolang yung mga dapat nageexperience nya sa age nya na wala si papa. Sya ang pinaka nasaktan nung nawala si papa. I've seen how much she suffered from the moment na namatay si papa, and bilang ate, kailangn masiguro ko na after that, lagi akong nakaalalay sa kanya.I love you sis :)

VOTE for My sister :) 

A Good Friend

A good friend is someone we can count on, as well as being so much more. A friend is someone with whom we can relax and just hang out, have fun and share our innermost thoughts, deep dark secrets, lofty and noble goals, or our hopes, joys, and fears.

A good friend allows you a safe space to share your deepest thoughts and needs without worry of being judged, criticized or made to feel silly for feeling the way you do. Friends cheer each other on, laugh and cry together, and just plain commiserate and listen to each other.

That's why friends are friends....

Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything.

QUOTE

Don't let anyone ever make you feel like you don't deserve what you want. 

FRIENDSHIP

We, individuals need friends din naman, they can walk with you all through the pages of your life and reminds you how beautiful life is. They put up a smile in your face everytime your in down and there's no one to comfort you. They can even be beside you, behind you or even infront of you when your down. That's what friends are.

Pero di maiiwasan na mag aaway din, I guess it's normal lalu na kapag matagal at malalim na yung pinagsamahan. Backstubbing, hersays, irapan, dun na lalabas yung mga sumbat and negative sides. Yun na siguro yung worst part ng pagkakaibigan.

But, we have to remember that everything shall pass!!! kasama sa buhay yan.. Its only a test of friendship diba. Wala namang perfect but siguro knowing na there's someone you can trust and lean on pwede na siguro yun. After all things happened will only be charge to experience and lesson learned.

It's me

I'm back, parang ang dami pang dapat i fix sa site na to, pero wala lang i feel so bored kase :(

I just want to share some stories, yung ngayun...

It's been 8 months ng nakabalik ako dito sa Pinas, and i was hoping na sana tama ang ginawa kung desisyon. Siguro I just want to make a decisions that will make me happy, yung walang regrets at all.

Namatay si papa, Nakahanap ako ng trabaho, nagka ayus kami ni kit, i feel like unti unti ko nang nabubuo yung sarili ko. Yun nga lang madami talagang nagbago and yes i blame myself for hurting those people i used to love.

I'm not aiming for a perfect life, but atleast i can surpass what i've been going through.

Got this from a friends post :)

PARANG KAYO PERO HINDI,

She is a 24-year old copywriter. He is an architect. They met and became
lovers in college. They broke up last year but remained to be "friends."

They send sweet text messages and he calls her often to make sure she's
okay. They still date. They still have sex.

They don't see anyone else. It is obvious that they still love each
other but when asked about their situation, she doesn't know the real
score. Even her friends are in the dark. "Parang sila, pero hindi."

She works in a telecom. He is reviewing for the board. They are in the
same barkada. They talk on the phone till 4 am. He gives her chocolates,
flowers and CDs even when there is no occasion. Their friends are
suspecting something. Bakit sila nagsosolo kapag may overnight inuman?
Why does he hold her close on the dance floor? Bakit sila magkaholding
hands lagi?Sila kaya?
"He hasn't admitted anything," she rants. "But I let him hug and kiss
me. Parang kami, pero hindi."

They work together in an ad agency. After office, they would watch
movie, have dinner and stroll at Glorietta. She gave him Harry Potter
books for his birthday in exchange for posing as her boyfriend to make an
ex jealous. They made out during the company outing in Subic and never
talked about it. He said "I love you" once but she wasn't sure if she
heard him correctly because they were both drunk then. But one thing she
is sure of is her feelings for him. She likes him. And she's assuming
that with what he's doing to her and with her, he likes her, too.
There's just one hitch: he has a girlfriend!

She is a 28-year-old virgin. He's a 35-year-old bachelor. Both
mountaineers, they became close during their climbs. After a few dates
in posh restaurants, he brings her to his condo where they would make
out.

They have been doing this for months. She wants to believe that "sila
na" but then she's not really sure about it. "We don't talk about it but
it doesn't really matter," she'd tell her friends. "What's important is
I am enjoying this -- whatever it is."

The "parang kayo, pero hindi" stage. Others call it MU or mutual
understanding. Pseudo-relationships. Pseudo- boyfriends.

Flings. Almost like a relationship, but not quite. It is a phase where
the persons involved are more than friends, but not quite lovers.

Puwedeng may verbal agreement, puwedeng wala. One or both of you may
have admitted your feelings, possible ding hindi. You just let your

gestures do the talking for you. Walang pormal na ligawan na nangyari.
Hindi kayo mag-dyowa.

Pero sa kilos niyo, sa mga sinasabi niyo, parang kayo, pero hindi.

This kind of "relationship" can happen at different stages for different
reasons. It can happen after a break-up. You still love each other, and
you want to be with each other but you broke up for a reason. A nd for
reasons that you alone know, ayaw niyo na muna magkabalikan.

It can also happen before a relationship, iyong pareho kayong
nakikiramdam. Possible din na ayaw niyo munang mag-seryoso kaya
kunwa-kunwarian lang muna.

Testing lang.

Puwede ring hindi puwedeng maging kayo kasi isa sa inyo --usually the
guy --may ka-relasyon na. Kaya habang hindi pa siya nakikipag-break doon
sa girl (sabi niya makikipag-break siya soon pero di naman niya
ginagawa), wala muna kayong relasyon para nga naman hindi siya
nangagaliwa kasi "hindi naman kayo."

This pseudo-relationship stage, for a time, can be fun. Lalo na kung
naghahanap ka lang naman ng "kalaro."

Pero huwag ka lang mag-e-expect na may patutunguhan kayo kasi wala
talagang kasiguraduhan.

So bakit ang daming nagse-settle sa ganitong set up ganoong hindi naman
sigurado kung may patutunguhan?

Iba't ibang dahilan. Puwedeng for fun lang.

Puwedeng "buti na iyan kesa w ala" or puwede na iyang "pantawid-gutom."

Meaning, habang wala pa iyong the real thing, doon muna sa
kunwa-kunwarian.

For those who are not in a serious relationship, they would think that
pseudo-relationship is better than no relationship at all. It would be
fun, if all you are after for is that "kilig"
feeling.

Aminado naman ako na once upon a time, may mga pseudo-relationships din
ako. No commitments involved. For the simplest reason that they couldn't
commit, because they were either committed to someone else, or that they
weren't ready to commit.

My rationalization, "okay na iyun, kesa wala."

Ang habol ko lang naman, iyong kilig feeling. Iyong merong nagtatanong
kung

kumusta araw ko. Iyong merong ka-cuddle sa beach outing. Iyong kapag
tumunog ang cellphone, mapapangiti na ako dahil alam kong galing sa
kanya ang message. Iyong merong laging kasama. Habang wala pa ang the
real thing, puwede na itong pagtiyagaan.

But then I learned that although it was only a pseudo-relationship, the
emotions were real. And usually, in this kind of set up, ang babae lagi
ang lugi.

Una, you can't ask him to commit. Since it's not really a relationship,
you

can't demand commitment from your partner. Ano ba kayo? May K ka nga ba
magpasundo ng hatinggabi? You will always be uncertain about your role
in his life. You can't expect him to be always there with you. And if
you feel jealous of the other girls, you just have to keep it to
yourself.

Ano ka ba niya para magselos?

Pangalawa, what if you fall deeply in love with him?
You can't be sure if he feels the same way. Baka nag-a-assume ka lang na
mahal ka rin niya.

Even if you are dying to tell him you love him, you can't.
Because you're not sure if he'll like it. Baka mapahiya ka lang.

This stage will always make you wonder where you are in the
relationship.

Or if there is a relationship at all.

Pangatlo, what if you become attached too much?

What if you have invested all your emotions and this man hasn't?

What if you remain faithful to him, not entertaining other guys, only to
find out that he is seeing other girls?

Isa pang downside ng pseudo-relationships, it is fleeting. When a
disagreement sets in, or when one of you gets cold, then that would be
the end of it. Unlike in a serious relationship, hindi mo alam kung saan
ka lulugar sa isang pseudo-relationship. Wala kang pinanghahawakan.

Kasi sa pseudo-relationship, there is no "us." Meron lang "you and me,"
hindi "us."

Buti sana kung pseudo-pain din lang ang mararanasan mo. Kaso, hindi eh.
Real pain. And usually, kahit tapos na ang pseudo- relationship, hindi
mo maiwasan umasang one day, may karugtong pa rin iyun. And you will be
miserable, hoping to bring back what you used to have, only to find out
eventually that the guy is in another pseudo-relationship with somebody
else.

Ang h irap, ano? You agreed to this kind of set up for fun and then
you'd end up hurting yourself in the process.

Pero puwede naman maiwasan ang pain eh.
Puwede naman na hindi mo muna isipin ang future and just enjoy the
feeling, without thinking of the consequences.

But if you are certain that you are going to hurt yourself in the
process, kailangan mo mamili. You can be happy and live the moment
without worrying what would happen next. Or you can stop settling with
pseudo-relationships and wait for the real thing.

When I was younger and in a pseudo-relationship with an unavailable guy,
a friend told me, "Sige, kung ayaw mong magpapigil, bahala ka.

Magpakasaya ka.

Pero huwag kang iiyak-iyak pagkatapos, dahil tatadyakan kita."

Ang bottom line lang naman, kung magpapasaya sa iyo, gawin mo.

Ihanda mo lang ang sarili mo sa consequence. Dahil ang "parang kayo pero
hindi" stage ay bihirang nagiging totoo. Usually, hanggang doon lang
siya ...

almost, but not quite.

FYI-- di para sakin to ha---my boyfriend ako..sadyang natuwa lang ako dito sa post nato...

I still don't understand...

I still don't understand why life and love is so unfair. Kung bakit despite of claiming that your overall happy, may mga bagay o tao padin na hahadlang sayo. Siguro that's the sign of you cannot please all people na nakapaligid sayo.

I still don't understand kung bakit madaming nakapaligid sa buhay ko na mga pessimist. Instead of being optimistic, parang ang hirap gumalaw pag ganun yung environment.Bakit kase di nalang sila maging masaya para sa akin, para sa amin siguro nga dahil iba na ang sitwasyon.

I still don't understand kung bakit ang dami kung mga tanong sa utak ko. Kung pwede lang i confront ang mga taong involve, kung pwede lang kaya lang ayoko na makasakit, baka kase ako ang mali at sila ang tama kaya sa bandang huli, ibabaon ko nalang kung anu man mga gumugulo sa isipan ko ngayun.

Sana maintindihan ko lahat...

Hope i can get the answers, soon.. It could be thru one of my friends, it could be kit..

at dahil wla kaming magawa

at dahil wala kaming magawa, from north to south...in touched via web cam :)